What’s the difference between “acting responsible” and being Responsible?
Ownership. 100%.
It’s about your actions being 100% your full and free choice, or being made to meet an external standard that lets you give ownership away.
“Acting Responsible”
“Acting” responsible is often “doing the right thing.”
According to what standard? Who’s making the call on what “right” is?
The clue is right there in the word – “acting.” You’re under some kind of direction. That may be explicitly following a person’s direction, or following a set of rules and policies. Or it may be implicit direction that comes from your beliefs and social norms.
One frequent tell of “acting” in this way is hearing “ought to,” “have to” or “I guess” in your head.
- “I ought to do it the right way.”
- “I have to go to this meeting.”
- “I guess I’ll work on this task, even though it’s going to get cancelled later.”
You’re not fully owning your choice in those moments. You’re abdicating ownership and giving it to:
- whoever decides what the “right” way is.
- whoever enforces attendance at the meeting.
- whoever signs your checks or writes your reviews.
Your choices may not be “wrong” or “bad” (again, according to what standard?).
What’s different is that part of you is doing it “under protest” or without full commitment.
You’re doing enough to meet where you think the bar is, not your best.
This is often a sign of mental Obligation.
Being Responsible
For clarity, being Responsible means acting from the mental state of Responsibility.
Accessing your full freedom, power, and choice. Looking to see what you most want, and believing in your ability to achieve that.
In Responsibility, you leave behind the things that are keeping you only partially committed.
You look deeply at what you want, owning wants that many times you’re too uncomfortable to admit to yourself.
When choosing how to do something, you might “do it the right way” because part of you is too uncomfortable to go to your boss and ask if you can do it a different way. Likely, sometime in your past you tried that, and were made to feel bad and wrong in a significant way. That stuck with you, and blocks you from trying again, even if you have a different boss who’s understanding and open to new ideas.
“Having to go to this stupid meeting” often relates to a belief that you are not able to either deal with the consequences of skipping it, or not able to fix the meeting and make it worth attending.
Doing what appears like a pointless task probably comes from belief that raising your concerns about the future direction will go badly for you.
Once you own your concerns and the wants embedded in them, you come to a point of clarity about what you want the most.
And knowing that, your choice is clear and free. You act with 100% commitment.
Which do you think will bring you more of what you want?
You can do this. I can help