You practice many rules designed to stop the world from happening.
- โI donโt ever want to get yelled at in a meeting again.โ
- โThatโs the last time I get embarrassed by being unprepared.โ
- โIโm not going to get rejected like that next time.โ
Youโre choosing the Control Cycle to try to stop future events from happening.
It doesnโt work.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น ๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ผ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ๐บ
It doesnโt work because it doesnโt solve the real problem.
The real problem is that you feel blocked from being able to have what you want. That block hides from your conscious mind. So you identify advice or strategy or practice to keep the bad thing from happening ๐ป๐ฒ๐ ๐ ๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฒ.
It feels โmore productiveโ or โsaferโ to make a quick evaluation of the supposed problem and latch on to the first โsolutionโ that emerges from your store of advice and practices.
Then you can focus your attention on compliance with the โsolution,โ which frees you for a time from the anxiety and upset.
You feel better in the moment, because โyou have a plan.โ
Then the bad thing happens again. Because you didnโt change the assumptions and beliefs blocking you from solving for what you actually want.
๐ฃ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐๐ฐ๐น๐ฒ
The alternative to the Control Cycle is the Power Cycle.
Rather than fixing the anxiety, you commit to looking for the real problem.
The real problem is the conflict between what you consciously want and the beliefs and/or assumptions that are blocking you from pursuing your want.
Uncovering those beliefs requires asking questions and Looking.
Once you can see your conflicting wants with Clarity, your anxiety releases. You’re clear on what you want the most.
That sense of Clarity gives you Trust to pursue the outcome you desire most.
๐๐น๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด
This is already happening for you. Recall one of the times you overcame a challenging situation. You were anxious and stressed, and you stayed with it until you were able to let go of the limiting beliefs that were keeping you stuck.
That โtough conversationโ that turned out to be โno big deal?โ You were wrestling with a belief that you โcouldnโtโ have that conversation, and once you let that belief go, things turned out great.
Project you thought was โtoo bigโ for you, and you did a great job? You froze because you believed you weren’t “big enough.” When you let that go, you kicked butt.
๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ผ๐บ, ๐๐ต๐ผ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฃ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ
Understanding these Cycles is at the heart of practicing Responsibility and taking 100% ownership of your life.
Practicing Responsibility gives you the tools and skills to be able to actively choose the Power Cycle ever more often, and to have the freedom, choice, and power that come with it.
Youโre already doing this. I can help you do it more. Letโs talk about how.