Polite Excuses
“Deciding that someone else’s face should be saved is an act of mistrust of the other person’s capacities.”
– Chris Argyris
intention
Dangerous Belief
You carry a dangerous belief with you. One that impacts everything you do. You learned it growing up, at school, at home, around peers. With it, you take feel more anxious, risk less, and speak less. What is it? Wrong “Wrong” gets used too often. It’s a shorthand for “incorrect,” “mistake,” “moral failure.” Your brain … Read more
Resistance to Commitment
Do you resist committing to change? Instead of making specific goals, do you promise yourself you’ll “get better about going to the gym”? Or “speak up more in planning meetings”? Vague intentions are safe. They leave up to question what actually meets the standard, and that standard is negotiable. You can “meet” the standard when … Read more
Living Values
You understand the power that values have in your life. They shape how you act, how you perceive the world. You live your values every day. They operate as filters on what you see as possibilities and actions. If you’re not happy with where you are or who you are, then what values are dominating? … Read more
Squeezed
What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it?
What comes out of you when you’re squeezed?
Bigger than Any Problem
You are bigger than any problem that occurs in your life. There are a lot of problems that don’t feel that way. Problems that feel as big as the world, sometimes. How can you really be bigger than all that mess? What’s the real problem? You, like most humans, make space in your head for … Read more
Plans, Punches, Pressure, and Probes
So I didn’t have a plan. I did, as I stood there, start to get the seeds of what might, sometime, become a vague step generally in the direction of an intention. I may be stating that too strongly. Steven Brust, Issola How much of a plan do you have for your year? Month? Week? … Read more
Fog Lights
Being Aware of the Fog This is a continuation of The Fog. It’s about those moments, where the anger, or fear, or stress descend like a fog. You’ve made an Intention to change, and reflected on what that change will be and how that change serves you positively. Now, let’s look at the next step. … Read more
The Fog
You have those moments, where the anger, or fear, or stress descend like a fog. A fog made up of all of those emotions you’ve suppressed, pushed away, buried. And to avoid being overwhelmed by that stored-up intensity, you look for a way to cope. The first coping option is to Lay Blame. The cause … Read more
Feelings
You have feelings; feelings of happiness, joy, contentment, exuberance, peace, love. Also fear, anxiety, stress, irritation, anger, resentment, tiredness, grief, isolation. Which of those groups did you welcome, and think positively of? Which of those groups did you dislike, and probably shame yourself about having? Feelings Simply Are “Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they … Read more