Stop Coping, Start Growing and Thriving
Do you resist committing to change? Instead of making specific goals, do you promise yourself you’ll “get better about going to the gym”? Or “speak up more in planning meetings”? Vague intentions are safe. They leave up to question what actually meets the standard, and that standard is negotiable. You can “meet” the standard when … Read more
You have short-term goals, like finishing “this report” or “this function” in the next day/week. It’s likely you have medium-term goals, like “finish this project” or “ship this feature.” Do you have a long-term goal for yourself? Where you want to be, what you want to be doing, who you’ve become? And have you done … Read more
Have you ever made time to recognize someone for their work, their learning, or an effort they made? That can be a powerful connection. People want to be seen for who they are and what they do. When you were recognizing someone else, did you also recognize yourself? For seeing, and for making the effort … Read more
What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it?
What comes out of you when you’re squeezed?
Freedom of choiceIs what you gotFreedom from choiceIs what you want — Devo Heard (or said) any of those recently? And plenty of things like them? That’s a lot of coping happening. That’s the sound of externalizing ownership of actions. Something or someone is “making” your choice for you. Always You always have the power … Read more
You are bigger than any problem that occurs in your life. There are a lot of problems that don’t feel that way. Problems that feel as big as the world, sometimes. How can you really be bigger than all that mess? What’s the real problem? You, like most humans, make space in your head for … Read more
So I didn’t have a plan. I did, as I stood there, start to get the seeds of what might, sometime, become a vague step generally in the direction of an intention. I may be stating that too strongly. Steven Brust, Issola How much of a plan do you have for your year? Month? Week? … Read more
Take time to celebrate your wins today. Do it right after you read this, if you can. If not, go to your calendar and block time for it today. Claim your wins – every Intention that you met. Celebrate your lighthouse moments, where you were conscious and deliberate about living your most important values. Noticing … Read more
This is a continuation of The Fog and Fog Lights. Change is hard. You act the way you do based on deeply-held values and beliefs, and long-practiced habits. You’ve learned that certain actions “work” for you, so you repeat them. Values When you decide that you want something different in your life, it’s a sign … Read more
You have those moments, where the anger, or fear, or stress descend like a fog. A fog made up of all of those emotions you’ve suppressed, pushed away, buried. And to avoid being overwhelmed by that stored-up intensity, you look for a way to cope. The first coping option is to Lay Blame. The cause … Read more