Stop Coping, Start Growing and Thriving
Craig Dial 
What is a problem? Something happens – you miss a light and have to wait. Your boss criticizes your work. Your partner complains that you never pick up your socks. A tree falls onto your apartment or house. What’s the problem? Is it the event, or the impact the event has on your reality? The … Read more
“Deciding that someone else’s face should be saved is an act of mistrust of the other person’s capacities.”
– Chris Argyris
Coping is protesting reality and being trapped in the past. The mental states described in The Responsibility Process® reveal this. Laying Blame is a protest that your current reality isn’t fair. Someone else did this, or caused it, or took your credit. They have to fix it because it didn’t turn out how you wanted … Read more
“There was a time in all of our lives when we desperately wanted what we have right the fuck now.” – Sarah Stockdale
Let go of the belief that you “must” be “nice.” Choose your response to the world from all of the options, not ones that meet some nebulous definition of “nice.”
If you’re like most human beings, you have a feeling of being “in control” and being “not in control.” Wake up, do your exercise routine, eat, shower, arrive at work on time? “In control.” Wake up late, skip workout and eating, maybe even the shower, arrive at work late? “Not in control.” Step outside and … Read more
If you could stop carrying one thing with you by January 1, what would it be? What burden, obligation, limiting belief, or anchor to the past would you put down? Many people feel stuck when asked this question. They jump to feeling a need to choose the “right” answer and spiral into discomfort and stress. … Read more
You carry a dangerous belief with you. One that impacts everything you do. You learned it growing up, at school, at home, around peers. With it, you take feel more anxious, risk less, and speak less. What is it? Wrong “Wrong” gets used too often. It’s a shorthand for “incorrect,” “mistake,” “moral failure.” Your brain … Read more
“Management told us ‘Your estimates are wrong. Estimate better so it’s done by Christmas.’” That was at the heart of a recent conversation with a colleague. Now, they have a team that’s angry, demotivated, and unlikely to do anything beyond bare compliance. If that. Why? Context and Anxiety It’s clear that management had context that … Read more
You experience everything filtered through interpretation. Your brain compares inputs like words, tone, body language, and context to past experience. You also filter through your beliefs, assumptions, and values. That all leaves you with a firm conclusion that’s not based on reality. Walk through a few examples – Choose your path Every one of these … Read more