Stop Coping, Start Growing and Thriving
Craig Dial 
You have short-term goals, like finishing “this report” or “this function” in the next day/week. It’s likely you have medium-term goals, like “finish this project” or “ship this feature.” Do you have a long-term goal for yourself? Where you want to be, what you want to be doing, who you’ve become? And have you done … Read more
Have you ever made time to recognize someone for their work, their learning, or an effort they made? That can be a powerful connection. People want to be seen for who they are and what they do. When you were recognizing someone else, did you also recognize yourself? For seeing, and for making the effort … Read more
“I’m feeling that feeling in my shoulders, like I’m hunching inwards. That means part of me is worried about being shamed. Do I think that being shamed is really likely, or is that letting history take over? Do I want to speak up more than I want to protect from the possibility of shame?”
Many of your beliefs and habits are at best semi-conscious. You learned them at a time when you had little ability to be critical and discerning of the programming you received.
If you frequently say things are “bad,” what belief or beliefs are doing the judging?
Is that a belief that still serves you? Might there be another, more powerful one you could support instead?
This is a powerful exercise to uncover and challenge “legacy” beliefs, things you carry around simply because someone you couldn’t say no to stuck you with them.
You’ll find that, upon awareness and examination, some of your legacy beliefs still hold value for you and serve you well.
You’ll almost certainly find some that only work to limit your happiness and potential.
Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.
Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames.
– Rumi
You stay stuck when you’re not fairly and clearly considering the two conflicting or competing wants. If you treat one of those wants as “morally bad” or “weak,” you’ll stay stuck because you’re not facing the belief that’s causing you pain.
“You’ve given the company the equivalent of a developer for free. Odds are you probably won’t get a bonus, raise, or promotion. The company will thank you for your efforts, pocket the productivity gain, and revise targets and goals upwards based on the new improvements.”
What comes out of an orange when you squeeze it?
What comes out of you when you’re squeezed?
People need familiar shapes and touchpoints to navigate in the grey, just like being able to see outlines of furniture when you’re walking through your living room at 3am.
When you’ve just moved in to a new place, you don’t have it all muscle-memory-mapped, and you bump into the ottoman. Live there a few years, and you set a course through obstacles without conscious thought.