You make decisions every day. Those decisions are based on your values and beliefs, some that are actively part of your thinking and some that lurk in your subconscious, waiting for a trigger to come out and try to seize control.
Many of those subconscious beliefs were built on painful experiences, and keep you from taking actions that would be good for you in your life. For example, if you burned your hand on a hot stove, you might form a belief that stoves are dangerous and to be avoided.
That would make it hard to choose to learn to cook. That’s a limiting belief.
Let’s look at another big area where people tend to carry limiting beliefs – money and saving for the future.
Financial Strategies
You can buy a lottery ticket and hope it wins big. It takes just a moment (and massive luck).
You can get “a degree,” “a job,” and do what the job requires. You show up every day and do what you think won’t get you fired or laid off.
Disciplined budgeting, saving, and informed investing takes work.
(I also want to acknowledge that some people fall outside either end of this spectrum.)
Counting on a lottery win for your future is almost devoid of Intention. Just the Intention to buy the ticket.
Going down the “having a job” path runs on a lot of “default” Intentions.
- hard work will pay off
- keeping a crappy job is better than looking for another one
- working for years will allow us future security and safety
Planning, saving, investing all take consistent Intention, repeated over and over. Much like being in shape, nobody can do the pushups for you.
Beliefs
You may be feeling an emotional reaction to this spectrum of possibilities. Anger. Shame. Anxiety.
That reaction is a sign to an Intention that you’re not currently meeting.
The Intention you’re not meeting hinges on a belief that you hold that you are not consciously examining, testing, and embracing or rejecting.
It could be belief that you should be more prepared, and feeling like you are less prepared and in command of your future than you wish you were.
You might believe that “you’re just bad with money” so planning for a future is just beyond you.
You might believe that “it’s just too late to start doing that now.”
Whatever the belief is, it shapes an Intention that you feel but rarely consciously acknowledge.
Your belief keeps you feeling like the problem is “bigger than you” – that you lack what you need to be able to master this problem, this anxiety, this want.
You stay stuck, and because the belief brings feelings of upset and stress, your brain does its best to hide the belief from you.
Your belief is limiting you.
Escaping Limiting Beliefs
When you’re caught between a conscious Intention (“plan more”) and a hidden Intention (“avoid planning, because it’s too hard to do”), your natural reaction is to cope, not challenge.
Your brain looks for a way out of the upset and anxiety. It starts with Lay Blame, and works its way through The Responsibility Process® step by step until it finds a mental state that takes away or soothes the upset.
What your brain doesn’t do is address the real problem – the belief you hold that the real problem is “too big for you to solve.”
You can change this. Stop letting your brain automatically look for coping strategies.
Examine your beliefs in the moment – what do I feel is true right now, and is it actually true?
The Toolkit
- Intention gives you the determination to focus on your beliefs and wants, conscious and unconscious.
- Awareness gives you access to your mental state and the effect it has on your problem-solving ability.
- Confront is facing reality despite the anxiety, so that you can bring all of your power and ability to the real problem you are facing.
These three practices – Intention, Awareness, and Confront – are The Keys to Responsibility™.
You can grow them, and grow your ability to deal with and thrive in greater moments in your life.
You can do this. I can help.
The Responsibility Process® and The Keys to Responsibility™ are registered marks of The Responsibility Company.