You experience everything filtered through interpretation.
Your brain compares inputs like words, tone, body language, and context to past experience. You also filter through your beliefs, assumptions, and values.
That all leaves you with a firm conclusion that’s not based on reality.
Walk through a few examples –
- Your boss says you’re behind on your work. Based on history you have with bosses in general, and beliefs about how bosses act based on those experiences, you conclude that you’re in trouble and something bad is going to happen to you.
- When you challenge those beliefs, you can hear that your boss is expressing concern for you, not a threat of consequences.
- During a status meeting, you say you’re waiting on a certain task to finish that belongs to another co-worker. They immediately say “Excuse me?” in a tone that your believe is angry. You immediately apologize and try to fix things. You assume you’ll end up being blamed if you don’t.
- Challenging your beliefs, you assert that you are indeed blocked and are seeking to both radiate that block and identify if there is a way to help get unblocked. Rather than “fold” and silence yourself, you realize you have the ability to state your position without fearing another’s defensiveness.
- You think that one of your colleagues is slacking, blowing off their job. They’re dealing with serious medical issues that they initially didn’t tell anyone about. You think “I’m such a horrible person” because you were chastised in the past for being “judgy.”
- You acknowledge that you chose to assume a negative story about your colleague, and push back n the belief that failing to be curious makes you “a horrible person.” You accept that you made up a story and can use that as a reminder to practice curiosity and grace because you prefer the results you get from them.
Choose your path
Every one of these situations can go very different directions, based on the interpretation you make of them.
Practice telling yourself “This is the story I am telling myself about this moment. It’s an interpretation, what other interpretations could I make?”
Question what belief or assumption is driving your interpretation of the moment. Is that belief serving you? Is the assumption valid?
When you practice challenging the first story, you grow in your ability to choose what you truly want to have and do. This is part of the work of Confront.
You can do this. I can help.