You carry a lot of beliefs about the world.
Lurking in your subconscious, they shape and color what you perceive and how you feel.
What you think is right and wrong, what is good and bad – those are powerful filters on your emotions and actions.
Anything that can have that large an impact on you is worth understanding.
Catch It
An exercise that I learned from Dr. Christopher Avery is the “Catch It Sooner” game.
Carry around a small card, maybe the back of a business card. Make two columns, one for “Got off it” and one for “It Got Out.”
Identify words you’re trying to become more aware of. In this case, word pairs like “right” and “wrong” would be valuable. Or “good” and “bad.”
(Side note, “right/wrong” and “good/bad” always omit the important part, which is “According to whom?” They’re relative standards, especially good/bad. Who gets to do the judging and by what metrics?)
When you think about saying one of your target words and catch it before you speak, tally that in “Got off it.”
If you hear it once you’ve actually said it, score that in “It got out.”
At the end of the day, total up your “score” – 10 points for every “Got off it” and 1 point for every “It got out.” It’s helpful to building awareness to notice it “after the fact” as well as before you use it.
Keep track of your score over a period of time, a week or two at least.
You’ll see your “Got off it” score go up as your Awareness grows.
Reflect
Now that you’re more aware of these terms, reflect on what values and beliefs they speak from.
If you frequently say things are “bad,” what belief or beliefs are doing the judging?
Is that a belief that still serves you? Might there be another, more powerful one you could support instead?
This is a powerful exercise to uncover and challenge “legacy” beliefs, things you carry around simply because someone you couldn’t say no to stuck you with them.
You’ll find that, upon awareness and examination, some of your legacy beliefs still hold value for you and serve you well.
You’ll almost certainly find some that only work to limit your happiness and potential.
Let those go.
You can do this. I can help.