Do you struggle at times to see more than one or two options for a decision?
You’re likely stuck in a coping mental state, and it’s blocking your thinking.
No?
Filters
Coping states of mind block your ability to consider any solution that doesn’t match that state. It’s a filter that you don’t realize is there.
When you’re stuck in Lay Blame, the only options and solutions you see are the ones that match Lay Blame. The problem is with the other person, so they have to act to fix it.
You might see more than one thing they can do to make it “right,” but it’s always about them and what they’re going to do. No other options exist in that filter.
You feel like the circumstances are to blame? Welcome to Justify, where the world is at fault. All your options are narrowed down to how the world or the circumstances must change for you to be “whole” again.
Shaming yourself for falling short again? Your options all revolve around beating yourself up, and doing better next time. You can sacrifice more of yourself to try to “make it up” to whoever or whatever you let down.
You’re doing things because you “have to?” Because there’s some set of rules, practices, expectations that you feel Obligated to live up to? That filter will keep you stuck in finding the shortest path to meeting that external standard, or at least getting close enough to it for “a pass.”
Removing the Filters
“I can see clearly now, the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way.” – Johnny Nash
You can only make your most powerful decisions when you’re not blocked by filters inside your own head.
The way to remove those filters is by building Awareness of when you’re in those mental states.
Pick a state, and focus for two weeks on what it sounds like when you’re there. Pay attention to the words you say, the feelings you have, the choices you see.
Every time you become aware that you’re in that mental state, congratulate yourself for recognizing it. Claim the Win for meeting your Intention of being Aware of your state.
Then, let go of that mental state. Ask yourself –
- Can I let go of being in Lay Blame, Justify, Shame, Obligation?
- Will I let go?
- When will I let go?
Commit to raising your Awareness of being filtered by coping.
You’ll free yourself to have greater access to your freedom, power, and choice.
You can do this. I can help.