How many times have you wished you were more patient?
Or regretted acting in reaction to something, not response?
First, congratulations on being human. You, like everyone, live in a world that rewards and reinforces speed and rapid action – provided it’s the “right” action.
It can be amazing to see someone make a momentous decision in the middle of a crisis, with seemingly little to no time to think.
In fact, it’s amazing enough that the memory of that moment overrides all the other times the immediate decision turned out poorly.
It’s the same kind of outcome bias that keeps people playing games of chance. That one win covers up for a whole lot of losses.
What creates more reliable success? Patience.
Practicing Patience
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” – Steven R. Covey, paraphrasing Victor Frankl
Patience is a way to create and expand that space, the space to respond not react. Awareness is the key to building your practice of patience.
Tune in to your patience and impatience. Notice what you feel and hear just before and just after you make a reactive choice. Get to know those signs.
Accept them without shame. Then, work to understand what need you have that’s being met by feeling those feelings and saying those things to yourself.
Compare that need to the want you have to be more patient and reap those rewards.
Commit to the one you want more of in your life.
Compound Interest Over Time
“Yeah yeah yeah, patience. How long will that take?” – Ed Gruberman (Ti Kwan Leap)
Change takes time. Unlearning habits and beliefs takes time.
You’re worth that time investment. That small change every day that grows to be a big sum down the road.
Building mastery of patience will decrease stress in your life, and increase your sense of freedom, power, and choice.
You can do this. I can help.
One final quote, from the incredible Ursula K. LeGuin –
“Wait. Manhood is patience. Mastery is nine times patience.”