This is a continuation of The Fog and Fog Lights.
Change is hard.
You act the way you do based on deeply-held values and beliefs, and long-practiced habits.
You’ve learned that certain actions “work” for you, so you repeat them.
Values
When you decide that you want something different in your life, it’s a sign that the “payoff” for your choices isn’t satisfying your needs.
But to change the default actions to new ones requires that you examine your values and beliefs.
Which values and beliefs are no longer serving you as well as they might once have?
By examining your values, you begin to realize that you get caught up in spending time on things you value less. Values can be hard to live every day without deliberate Intention and focus.
When we come back and check in with our values, they become a beacon, a lighthouse in the fog.
Sort
There are a number of web sites that can help you check in with your values. One that works particularly well is from the University of New Mexico. It’s a public domain list of values formatted as cards; cut them out and sort them into groups.
It can be difficult to keep the “very important to me” group to a reasonable size (5-7). As an aid to narrowing down your “very important,” ask yourself, “If I could have only one of these values appear in abundance in my life, which one would I choose?” Then two, three, and so on.
After you identify your 5 +/- most important values, go back and sort the cards again according to which values you believe you actually have in abundance in your current life. Your groups would be more “very often,” “often or somewhat often,” and “rarely or never.”
You may have feelings about the difference between the two sorts. Do your best to accept them without judgement. Acknowledge your desire to have more of some values than you currently feel you have, without resorting to shame and self-condemnation.
Then set a clear Intention to bring more of the values you want to each day. Make a list on a sticky note, or pin the value cards to your board, or some other method of keeping them alive and visible for you.
Let them be your lighthouse in the fog.
You can do this. I can help.