You have feelings; feelings of happiness, joy, contentment, exuberance, peace, love.
Also fear, anxiety, stress, irritation, anger, resentment, tiredness, grief, isolation.
Which of those groups did you welcome, and think positively of?
Which of those groups did you dislike, and probably shame yourself about having?
Feelings Simply Are
“Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they simply are.” – Virginia Satir
Feelings are simply part of being human. They’re part of how we experience, make sense of, and process the world.
Some feelings are more pleasant to experience, some are more powerful. And you’ve learned that some feelings are more likely to hijack your actions.
Control
“I can’t control my feelings!”
“Well then by all means you should let them control you!” – Roy Kent and Ted Lasso
You’ve been angry enough at some point to say or do things you regret later.
You’ve been anxious or scared enough to not say things that you wish you had.
What you may not have done is question if you hold beliefs that give your feelings more control over your actions.
Maybe you believe that certain behaviors are always “wrong,” and that belief leads you to anger quickly when it happens. So when someone interrupts you during a discussion, you’re primed to blast them for doing it.
Or you might believe that your thoughts are “dumb,” so you feel anxious about wanting to share your insights in a meeting and stay silent.
Your feelings take control, and rob you of your power and choice.
Letting Go
Dr. David Hawkins wrote an entire book about “Letting Go.” He described it this way –
“A good example is the following. You are in the midst of an intense argument; you are angry and upset, when suddenly the whole thing strikes you as absurd and ridiculous. You start to laugh. The pressure is relieved. You come up from anger, fear, and feeling attacked to feeling suddenly free and happy.”
Like everyone, you hold on to feelings and emotions. You suppress “bad” ones, you express them and regret the “negative” ones, and you try to escape them by distracting yourself. How much binge-watching is escapism?
Build a conscious Intention to accept your feelings without judgement. Then, once you feel them without judgement, let them go.
Name them, accept them, feel them, and let go.
Stop letting them control you.
You can do this. I can help.